Ask Maximum Ride
by eliza246531
Summary: Any questions for anyone in Maximum Ride? QUESTIONS SHALL BE ANSWERED INSIDE! This is run by you! Many questions especially containing Dylan, Iggy, Max, Fang, Angel, Nudge, Gazzy, and Ella! ENJOY AND READ!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey so this is how it works : you ask me a question through reviews and I ask the character! You decide what goes on! Any character can be asked questions! Lacey shall be the name of the host of this talk show. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer :**

**Me - Yo Iggy get in here!**

**Iggy - Whaddya want?!**

**Me - Do the disclaimer.**

**Iggy - No way.**

**Me - I'll tell Max**

**Max - Tell me what?**

**Me - hehe**

**Iggy - Fine! She does not own Maximum Ride or any of the characters! Bye!**

**Max - Iggy!**

**Me - hehe**

Lacey: So Iggy... when did you get interested in bomb building?

Iggy: Well it was when we were attacked by erasers, and there were too many to fight off, so Gaz and I-

Lacey: Get to the point already!

Iggy: We had to build a bomb, so we did and blew up the erasers. It became a hobby so now I still build them.

Lacey: NEXT! Fang get out here!

*Fang sits down*

Lacey: Why are you so dark and shady?

Fang: What kind of question is that?

Lacey: *gasp* You spoke a full sentence! And it is a question that deserves an answer so ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!

Fang: Well SOMEONE has anger issues

Lacey: QUIT BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS OR THE WHOLE WORLD FINDS OUT THAT YOU ARE-

Fang: Whoa whoa, no need to reveal THAT secret. I grew up in a dog crate. So I am now dark and emotionless.

Lacey: Except towards-

Fang: NO MORE!

Lacey: Awe you're no fun. Anyway... We're out of time! Tune in next time to-

Flock: NOBODY GIVES A FUCK!

Lacey: :(

**Well, hope you enjoyed! comment a question please! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hai my beautiful readers! Today is yet another update day! I really do need to update more. My best friend keeps bothering me to update one of my stories so I will. Me no own MR but I wish I did! Enjoy and please review questions or my story will ****_DIE! _****Keep up the questions! R&R and enjoy! Also, I am not sure if I should up the rating because of one of the questions, so please tell me if I should. Well enough from me, let's continue to the story! Also, I am going to not swear in this chappy. But only for this one chappy.**

Lacey: Okay, welcome back! This is your host, Lacey! Max, you are first today!

Max: What? But I don't want to be questioned! I took care of a flock for_ years_ so why am I being questioned?

Lacey: No need for a fit Maxie. But your first question is from _queen of awesome. _Would you fight or flight if erasers were walking alligators? Why or why not?

Max: No brainer! Of course I would fight! I would just get really gross and slimy so yea, as long as I can shower after fighting. I never lose or back down, so I have to. Also, I have to protect my flock no matter what.

Lacey: Awe how heartful Maxie. Maxie no more question for you. You must leave the stage now. Go. Shoo. There is food back stage.

*Max sprints backstage*

Lacey: Iggy get out here right now!

Iggy: Yes?

Lacey: Here's a question from _queen of awesome ; _What did the school do to you that made you so perverted?

Iggy: Wellllll... We never got out or knew too much about any of...___**IT**_, so I needed to make up for it now. Also, Max won't let me-

Lacey: Iggy! T rating!

Iggy: Fine...

Lacey: Iggy, get Nudge. She is next. And just stay back there!

Nudge: Yay! Now what are my questions? I want soooo many questions! Hurry! I want more things to talk about! When is Angel coming on? Wait, that will-

Lacey: Enough Nudge. queen of awesome wants to know if you think dresses are evil creations that are going to kill the human race.

Nudge: No way! NO WAY! I love dresses! Especially pink and white polka dot ones! Can you make Max wear one? No, that would be evil. She would like totes kill me, and then I wouldn't be as pretty. Do you think I'm-

Lacey: OKAY! Another question from queen of awesome. What would you do if pink died?

Nudge: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lacey: SECURITY BRING HER TO THE PANIC ROOM!

Angel: You wanted me?

Lacey: MIND HACKER! Anyway, what happened to Celeste?

Angel: Iggy and Gazzy build a bomb that opened the plot hole and dropped Celeste in it. Then it closed with Max's now ex boyfriend.

Lacey: Kay! So... This question is from MaD aS a HaTtEr 14 ...If you had to choose between Max and saving the worlds population of cute bunnies, what would you choose?

Angel: Easy. I'd dress Max in a cute bunny suit and have both. Either that or kill whoever is making me decide.

Lacey: Well _**SOMEONE**_ is extra violent today. Well that's it for you. Get your brother then go eat with Max, Iggy, and Nudge.

Gazzy: Hiya!

Lacey: Are you secretly a girl? Just kidding! What was your worst fart?

Gazzy: I was around 4 years old at the School, and a whitecoat wanted to do a test on my mimicking skill, and I didn't want to, so I blew one and they let me stay and not have to go in for a crazy test.

Lacey: Okay that's it for you. Get Fang right now. The moment you have all been waiting for...

Fang: Oh what is it this time...

Lacey: Do you like the waffle song?

Fang: No.

Lacey: You have no soul.

Fang: Cool.

Lacey: What do you think of chicken cooked by Max?

Fang: Gross.

Lacey: Okay shady.

Fang: Whatever.

Lacey: Have you ever frigged Max?

Fang: What...

Lacey: I'm not swearing this episode.

Fang: oh. Oh. OH. OH! No way! She would kill me! She's with someone else anyway! Why would someone ask that? I mean she's pretty and all but... I'm with someone too.

Lacey: Yeah, I know. So should we tell everyone your little secret?

Fang: Whyyyyy? Not that I care but, why?

Lacey: It was a question asked.

Fang: Fine. Tell them.

Lacey: Fang is bi. As in bisexual. Homophobes, deal with it. Yo Dylan come on out here!

Dylan: What d'ya need?

Fang: Lacey told everyone.

Dylan: Oh are you okay with that?

Fang: Yeah.

Dylan: That means we can do this.

Fang: Wha-

Dylan kissed Fang.

Lacey clapped and squealed.

Lacey: Yay! Okay, well times up folks! And they are still kissing! See you next time!

**A.N.- Finally finished writing this! It took over 2.5 hours including thinking time while writing! Review a question please!**


	3. Author's Note 1

Dear MaD aS a HaTtEr 14, don't worry about catspat31. By the way catspat31, I could report you for trolling as a review on my story and get your whole account deleted. I need reviews to continue my story so please disregard any comments from people who say this story is invalid and not allowed. Thank you! I got a new lap top so I should be able to update more often so yay! Please leave questions so I can answer them in the next chapter! Sorry if anyone thought this was an update. I actually enjoyed all of the questions so keep them coming! Thanks!


	4. Chapter 3

**A.N.~ It's been too long! I still love all of you! Also, post an emoticon if you read this! Thanks! R&R!**

* * *

Lacey: Boo ya! I get to talk my ass of now!

Mr. Producer Man: Lacey no more cussing or we will just beep you out!

Lacey: Shut the f*** up you a******!

Mr. Producer Man: Continue as you please but that shall not change anything.

Lacey: Whatever but get the f*** off the stage Mr. Producer Man.

Mr. Producer Man: You have a new host to work with you! Work together!

Lacey: What the f*** is this! Oh yes. It is an OUTRAGE!

Mr. Producer Man: Too bad.

?: Would you prefer me, Unicorn, or Rainbow?

Mr. Producer Man: I could use them... By the way, this is Raven.

Lacey: I don't want you here and get the f*** off_ my_ stage Mr. Producer Man!

Raven: He just had to introduce me, and now he is leaving. See? By the way, Unicorn and Rainbow take the stage after half of the show we host together.

*Lacey attempts to attack Ms. Producer Woman and gets dragged away by security harshly*

Intercom: You need a leash on that b****! Who knows if she'll attack again!

Raven: Well let's continue. Sorry if you can't focus because of my looks, but I swear I am slightly normal! I only have eyes that are-

Iggy: Raven no one cares if you have hair that is-

Raven: Enough Iggy we all know my skin colour adds to my eyes popping out.

Iggy: I never said anything about that...

Raven: Okay well Lady Oakenshield was wondering if you would marry her.

Fans: No Iggy is mine! Don't touch his precious skin or hair. Oh my gosh, his HAIR! Can you believe hair can be THAT amazing?!

Iggy: ... I am not old enough to marry.

Raven: You are so mean!

Iggy: Would you prefer me to lie?

Raven: ... Yes

Iggy: What is this?!

Raven: A talk-show. Duh.

*Iggy facepalms*

Raven: Ella, we have a question for you!

Ella: Can I bring Maxie?

Max: Don't call me Maxie.

Ella: Whatevs Max. So what's my question?

Max: Did you just sass me?

Ella: I think you know the answer to that.

Raven: Max shut up. You have a question later, no need to steal the stage.

*Max attempts to speak but ends up with a rag in her mouth*

Ella: Ask the question already!

Raven: Sheesh. Everyone is a sassafras today. You're question is... um just give me a second to organize my thoughts... Oh yes. It is who are you the most jealous of in the flock?

Ella: Hmmmm... tuffie... Max probably. Everyone trusts her so much and she can fly really well. By the way, a sassafras is a deciduous North American tree with aromatic leaves and bark. The leaves are infused to make tea or ground into filé. Also, an extract of the leaves or bark of the sassafras is used medicinally or in perfumery.

Raven: The readers got my point. No need to be all scientifical.

Ella: Scientifical isn't a word.

Raven: Well it is now!

Ella: Sheesh. _Someone's_ moody. Hint hint, wink wink.

Raven: Hush. I have more people to question. Go away.

Jeb: Ari is dead. He cannot answer your question.

Ari: You brought me back to life. Go away.

Jeb: D***

Raven: What is more scary, unicorns or butterflies?

Ari: Unicorns.

Unicorn: Hey that isn't right!

Raven: Who names their kid Unicorn?

Unicorn: Who names their kid Raven?

Raven: ... Touche ...

Ari: Can I go now?

Raven: Sure.

Jeb: A question for me?

Raven: Yes. Why are you so heartless?

Jeb: I hate you all! Go burn in h***!

Raven: Jeb may hate everyone, but I love you readers!

Jeb: I don't hate the readers if they follow, review, or favorite.

Raven: That's messed up Jeb.

Jeb: Do you want to know what else is messed up?

Raven: Sure.

Jeb: Your face.

Raven: I don't think that still counts as an insult by this point.

Jeb: Whatever.

Raven: Brofist Alice.

Fans: Eep she actually used that as a question! Yay!

Raven: Well, Unicorn and Rainbow, it is your turn. Turns? I don't even know...

* * *

Unicorn: Oh my gosh we actually got a turn!

Rainbow: Yay!

Unicorn: Just so you know, I have chocolate brown skin, black hair, and black eyes.

Rainbow: I have medium skin, rainbow hair, and rainvow eyes. I wear pretty contacts and dye my hair daily! My hair today is pink and so are my eyes!

Unicorn: Well we have a question for Ms. Martinez.

Ms. Martinez: What is your question girls?

Rainbow: What is the weirdest animal to ever come to your vet?

Ms. Martinez: An exceed. Happy got sick and had to come to my vet.

Happy: I'm from Fairy Tail! Come watch me some time! Also, eliza246531 does not own me!

Unicorn: What do-

Rainbow: -exceeds look like?

Ms. Martinez: Pretty much a kitty with wings.

Unicorn: That's really-

Rainbow: -cool!

Unicorn: Lissa, what is-

Rainbow: -your natural hair colour?

Lissa: I am a blond.

Unicorn: Pretty!

Rainbow: I agree!

Unicorn: Yo Ms. Wonderful you have a question!

Bridget: Yes?

Rainbow: That's a boring response.

Bridget: Well I don't really care.

Rainbow: Do you like Fang?

Bridget: No. I am not single.

Unicorn: Then who are you dating?

Bridget: Did someone ask that?

Unicorn: Um yes.

Rainbow: We did.

Bridget: Fine it's-

Rainbow: Classified information!

Unicorn: No! I want to know!

Bridget: Rainbow is right. It is classified.

Rainbow: Well we should move on to the next person.

Unicorn: But that is the last one!

Rainbow: Yup.

Unicorn: Who is it for?

Rainbow: Max.

Max: What is the question?

Rainbow: Why can't people call you Maximum?

Max: I prefer if someone is in danger to only have to call Max for me to come and I would get confused with 2 names.

Unicorn: Makes sense to me.

Rainbow: Same.

Unicorn: Is it the same with Maxie?

Max: That name shall not be spoken in front of me.

Rainbow: Why-

Unicorn: -not?

Max: It is too girly for me.

Rainbow: Okayy!

Unicorn: We have something to ask of the readers.

Rainbow: Yes we do

Raven: Agreed.

Lacey: D*** right we do!

Unicorn: Vote-

Rainbow: -for-

Raven: -which-

Lacey: -set-

Unicorn: -of-

Rainbow: -hosts-

Raven: -you-

Lacey: -prefer.

Everyone: They will be your host from now on!

* * *

**Who do you want as your host? What are your questions for our characters from Maximum Ride? Don't forget to review! Thank you!**


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